Sunday, October 23, 2011
How do they do it?
Max is always pretty good in church. Sometimes like today he will get tired so I'll stand up in the back and rock him in my arms and he fell asleep pretty quickly. Then we go back and sit down next to mom. He is so cute and peaceful when he sleeps. Looking down at him sleeping peacefully in my arms I know I need to treasure this moment and all moments with him and Alexandra. As deployment draws nearer I wonder what it is going to be like to come back to a son over one years old, will he have any idea who I am? Will he cry when I pick him up? How long will it take to reestablish the father and son bond? And then I think how do people do this for so long? How do people do this military thing with families at home. Some of them are probably just less "crazy" about their families so it isn't as hard for them, but that's gotta be a minority. Just looking around church I saw many military families and they look happy and close and loving. I recognized a Commander and didn't know he had 3 kids and he looked very happy and loving with his family. How did he do it, so many years of military service, many deployments, I don't understand how they do it. I don't think I could do it. I don't have a choice right now, I have to, but I couldn't reenlist again knowing I am volunteering to leave Max and his potential sibling(s) and Alexandra at home for long lengths of time, or even short lengths of time. I am not looking forward to this deployment, and I am never going to be ready for it.